Confidence: What is it and How do you get it back?

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I sometimes wonder, what happened to my confidence? So, I did what everyone does in these situations… I Googled it!

Confidence - the feeling or belief that one can rely on someone or something; firm trust.

Faith - complete trust or confidence in someone or something

WOW! They are the same. There have been times in my life, I will admit, that my Faith has not been strong. I have been broken. However, there has never been a time that I did not believe in God. In fact, there were many times when I wondered where he was.

My mom has always taught us to “fake it till you make it”. I remember in the late 80’s when the stock market crashed and she had to declare bankruptcy, she kept her mink coat and her MR2. She told us that she can’t go to clients in a beat up car looking like she had no money. She told me the same thing when I began personal training and going to very wealthy clients’ homes. I leased a nice car, invested in my training uniforms and showed up like the successful professional that I was becoming. My theory on faking it till you make is: I am faking it right now but very shortly, I will make it!

Faith and Confidence is not something you can not fake. You have to believe it in your soul. I want to share 5LLs (Life Lessons) to FIND IT and GET IT BACK!

#1 Don’t Stop Believing!

I don’t know about you, but music gets to me. I will revert to Journey’s iconic hit song, which reminds you not to give up when your’re livin’ in a lonely world. Roll the dice, just one more time.

I know there are times in our lives that we want to stop believing, but we can’t. It is imperative to surround yourself with people that believe in you; sometimes more than you believe in yourself. Make sure you choose carefully who is “inside your ring”. I hired an amazing therapist who ever so gently helped me find me. Ask for support! There are things we need to ask for help with. It is especially hard as single, strong ass women!

#2 Be Fearless 

Gym Class heroes - The Fighter

“Until the referee rings the bell, until both your eyes start to swell, until the whole crowd goes home, WHAT we gonna do ya’ll? Give em HELL. Say to me….There goes a fighter!!! if you fall get up off the floor. “

Failing isn't your enemy; it's fearing failure that truly cripples you. If you set big goals and have big dreams, you're going to feel overwhelmed, and you're inevitably going to feel like you can't do it. In those moments, you have to look inside yourself, and gather every ounce of courage you have and just keep going. Every single wildly successful person has been afraid, and they've kept working and taking risks anyway, because what they are trying to accomplish is more important and urgent than their fear of failure. Think about how much you want to achieve your goal, then put your fear to the side, and keep going, one day at a time.

My brother, Scott always says to me (to this day) “get up before you realize your are bleeding”.

#3 Stand-up For Yourself   

Christina Aguilera - Fighter

“After all you put me through, you would think I despised you, but in the end I want to thank you for making me that much stronger.”

When your goal, project, etc. is in its early stages, and someone says that your goal is stupid, or that you can not do it, it's tempting to believe them because they're joining the chorus of doubts inside your head. Logically you think, "How can I be right when this person and all these doubts in my head are telling me I can't do this? That this idea is stupid." And you have to tell those people, especially the voices in your head, that they're wrong. You have it in you, so tell them you believe in your goal, you believe in yourself, so you're going to accomplish it. There's a great line in 10 Things I Hate About You, when Joseph Gordon-Levitt is about to give up his pursuit of Larisa Oleynik, and Heath Ledger gives him a pep talk, ending it with,"Don't let anyone, ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want."

#4 Ask God for help

Hillsong Worship - Be Still

“Be still and know that the Lord is in control. Be still and watch as giants loose control. You silence all my fear”.

I am responsible for my life choices and I work every day to forgive myself for those choices. My choices have also helped me become me. There have been times when I wondered where God was, why wasn’t he answering my prayers? Why did he leave me? Have you ever felt this way? I want you to know, without a shadow of a doubt, I know he has never left me, even when I sometimes left him.

There is not one day that I don’t ask God for help. Man, oh man I need him! I can not do this on my own. I could not make it through the challenges in my life without him. I sometimes get on my knees, and with tears in my eyes just ask for a “hug”. I actually feel it too. This is one of the most important LL (Life lessons) for me.

#5 Gratitude

Moana Soundtrack — How far I’ll GO

“Where I long to be…the light at the night of the sea…SHE CALLS ME!”

No matter what is going on in my life, I am thankful, grateful and loved. I thank God everyday for the blessings he continues to give me. I live on the water and make sure everyday I show complete gratitude for this opportunity. My pastor shared that when you smile….God is in that smile and we are showing him gratitude.

I read an article about the 31 Benefits of Gratitude You Didn’t Know About: How Gratitude Can Change Your Life. I will share a few of my favorites as well as the entire article.

Gratitude makes…

  • us happier

  • people like us

  • us healthier

  • you live longer

  • us feel good

  • you look good - who doesn’t want this?!

Life is an Adventure and we are here to make the most of it. Be grateful for the things around you, have fun, play and enjoy life. I am so blessed to live on the water and paddle board with my boys and I absolutely make the most of it.

I repeat to myself “My Faith is Bigger than my Fear.”

10 years ago I got my first tattoo that symbolize Psalms 46:10 “Be Still and know that I am God,” and for 10 years I have been still. I recently got my 2nd tatoo that says “FAITH” on my wrist.

It is now time for me to step into absolute FAITH. Come join me…